Political Review
DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has
none. You feel guilty for being
successful. You vote people into
office who put a tax on your cows,
forcing
you to sell one to raise money to
pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money, buy a cow
and give it to your neighborhood.
You
feel righteous. Barbara Streisand
sings for you.
SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government
takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him
how to manage his cow.
REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has
none. So?
COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government
seizes both and provides you with
milk.
You wait in line for hours to get
it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy
a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government
taxes you to the point you have to
sell
both to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow, which
was a
gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government
takes them both, shoots one, milks
the
other, pays you for the milk, and
then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one,
lease it back to yourself and do an
IPO on
the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to
produce the milk of four cows. You
are surprised when one cow drops
dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized
and are reducing expenses. Your
stock
goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows. You go
to
lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them
so they are one-tenth the size of
an
ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. They learn to travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most
are at the top of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You engineer them
so they are all blond, drink lots
of
beer, give excellent quality milk,
and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 5
weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know
where they are. While ambling
around,
you see a beautiful woman. You break
for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You drink some
vodka. You count them and learn you
have
five cows. You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop
counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka. The Mafia shows up and
takes over however many cows you
really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have all the cows in
Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk
them
because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts. Then you kill
them
and claim a US bomb blew them up.
POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two bulls. Employees are
regularly maimed and killed
attempting to
milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and a brown
cow. Everyone votes for the best
looking
one. Some of the people who like the
brown one best, vote for the black
one. Some people vote for both. Some
people vote for neither. Some
people
can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-state tell you which is the
best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION:
You have fifteen million cows. You
have to choose which one will be the
leader of the herd, so you pick some
fat cow from Arkansas
This
afternoon we took Butternut
for his walk. Actually Queen did most of the walking and cleanup I was
busy taking pictures. The sun had come out and it was glorious.
Monday,October
18,2004 7:28 am 40.4 at Slatington E.S and 41 deg in the bus stop
It is chilly this morning but it should be a nice
day. Tomorrow is another story with rain predicted.
Yesterday when we went for our walk the sun had come out and I got
some
pictures.
I
saw this article in the Journal. I have already downloaded the program
and it really works.
ABOUT
THE COLUMN
Tim Hanrahan
and Jason Fry write
Real Time every Monday and Real Time Exchange every Thursday.
Tim is
the daytime news editor of the Online Journal. Jason is an assistant
managing editor, and also co-writes The Daily Fix sports column. The
Real Time column won first place in the online category in the National
Society of Newspaper Columnists contest in 2004. Write to Tim and Jason
at realtime@wsj.com.
Dow Jones,
Reuters
Google Looks
to Conquer
Our Humpty
Dumpty Desktop
Plus: Will
Biochips Get Under Our
Skin?
October 18,
2004
For more than
three decades we
have
used the same line when pressed about our toy-strewn rooms, our
gummed-up school lockers, or our messy desks: If we clean it up, then
how will we ever find anything?
It is an
admittedly shaky, and
convenient, line. But there is something to it. At some point it
becomes too much trouble to keep all your books, clothes and papers in
perfect thematic or alphabetical order -- the entropy is too much. You
may leave lying out the 10 or 15 CDs you use the most, and let the rest
fall into disorder.
The same is
true inside our
computers and online. Sure, we have the My Documents folder, and some
crude organization of our inbox. We learn tricks on how to sort stuff
and find stuff. But it's basically a mess -- and a time-consuming pain
to sort through, like finding the one unwrinkled, not-too-smelly shirt
in the hamper.
This
frustration is why a small
piece of software unveiled by Google last week has us excited -- if a
bit wary. Google -- despite the protestations of Microsoft and others
that its technology was no true breakthrough -- made it insanely easy
in the late '90s to find things out on the Web. Now, six years after it
first launched and amid feints from the giants in Redmond and Dulles,
Google is trying to make it just as easy to find the stuff you already
have on your computer -- your e-mail, Web history, online bank
transactions and yes, even your instant-messaging conversations.
We tooled
around a bit with the
Google Desktop Search application over the weekend. We had some proxy
issues that took some time to sort out, and meant jumping on and off
our corporate connection -- first hopping on to let Google index our
corporate e-mail and then hopping off to run the application to search
it. It worked as promised, quickly searching the hard drive for e-mail
and other documents, and helping us find a boss's note we had misplaced
and quickly check an archived bank balance.
We wrote last
month about the
possible demise of physical things (mostly media like newspapers and
CDs) but the Google service seems to herald the death of
disorganization -- and the vindication of the sloppy, the lazy and the
couldn't-be-bothereds. After all, why get organized when services like
Google's tool promise to sort through the clutter for you? There are
some flaws in the tool -- it can't index Gmail yet, for instance -- and
some concerns. Snooping, of course, will become remarkably easy as
compromising Web pages or e-mails pop right up (even deleted ones,
thanks to caching), rather than requiring laborious searches of each
application separately.
The power and
pitfalls will take a
while to sort out. The San Jose Mercury News's Mike Langberg put it
well last week when he wrote: "Suddenly, I no longer have to ponder
where I saw some piece of information: In an e-mail? On a Web page? In
a document?" He added: "This is hugely valuable, yet occasionally
creepy."
Are
you more disorganized on line and
in your computer than you'd like to be? Going to check out the new
Google tool, or a similar one? Write to us at realtime@wsj.com, and
we'll post selected comments this Thursday. If you want to share your
thoughts but don't want your letter published, please make that clear.
It is cloudy
today but I think we shall forgo a walk. Queen has a very big wash and
I don't want her to do too much.
I have been
learning how to use this new program. I
did notice that when I click "save as", it goes into the
designated
folder that I choose but it displays everyone I have ever saved and I
can go back to it in case I made as error. This is a nice feature.
This morning was
another dark day for summer! With Queen as my "gofer" and official
ladder holder I installed the blue
tarps around the bus stop.
It was a nice day to do it and the
sunshine helped.
Tuesday, October
19, 20047:21 AM
45.9 at Slatington E.S and 46.9 in the
bus stop
It
is a damp
dreary day this morning. The blood
glucose was 141 and the weight 196.<Sigh>
With the rain
this morning we decided to stay in
and
forgo the morning walk. We both miss it though.
We were
both tired last night. Queen had her
big wash along with a shot
at leaf cleanup yesterday. I helped with that but also got the tarps
installed around the bus stop. It wasn't all that hard to do
physically but for the old man standing on a stepladder's top
step or next to it puts a stress on one that really causes tiredness
that I can really notice in my back later in the day.
Thank God my
Queen was
my helper ,ladder holder, and "Gofer". It would have been much worse had
I
needed to get down from the ladder to pick up all the sundry parts that
I am
prone to drop.. Beside she inspires confidence while I am up there.
Some places the stepladder can't be set exactly level this does not
inspire confidence!!
I
got an e-mail
from my chief mentor, son George, in
Delaware advising me as to where to look for some useful information
using this new Nvu web page program. I really think I am
going
to like this program a lot.
I am afraid we wont see much sun today. I took these yesterday
afternoon almost in front of Sharon's house near the First National
Bank before the batteries went flat.<Groan>
I saw in last
evening's Times News that our old friend Judge Richard We, is going
to
retire next year at the sixty years of age.
I copied this picture from
the Times News
He wants to take
the time to enjoy life. To this I must heartily agree. It is later than
you think.
Later
this morning Queen wanted to go
to K-Mart and
Super Fresh. It wasn't a nice day for driving. However we got some
strawberries, salmon, and coffee all of which were on sale.
This picture I took yesterday as a close up of the weather vane on top
of the First National Bank building. I am using a new Bushnell
binocular-digital camera .
I had to steady the camera on the
car roof. It really needs a tripod for sharp pictures. What I see of it
so far I like. It was inexpensive enough.
Tonight for supper we had half of the salmon
we
got this morning. We also had "Freedom Fries" a few onion
rings, cauliflower, tomatoes, and cottage cheese. We were to full
for dessert.
After supper we called Mary and sang "Happy
Birthday"
to her. She is another good kid!!
I got an e-mail this morning from Fritz. It
confirms our impression of what we thought he implied in the
conversation we had when he returned Saturday night from his
class
reunion.
Bob & Ruth,
My thanks to both of you for your hospitality on Saturday
night. I've
been reflecting a lot on the reunion experience. I'm glad I
went, but I
can't really say it was fun. When the main event is a
sit-down dinner,
it's very hard to move around and find out what people have really been
up to - and who they've become. I was only able to do it
with three or
four people, and nobody did it with me. Unfortunately, the class
reunion
listed just about everybody's occupation as "retired;" so, you don't
know what they used to do. Still, they were my classmates,
and there
was something wonderfully sad and warm about the celebration.
Fritz
I
suspect I would feel
the same. I am sure I would see a lot of "old people". I find
his comment interesting and I suspect very typical.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004 7:37 AM
43.5 at Slatington E.S. and 46.5 in
the bus stop
We went for our regular walk this morning for the
first time in over two days. It was great getting out. We met
Gail Nonnemaker and Shirley Neff at the top of Columbia Avenue.
They were almost finished with
their walk. At least three folks beeped at us on our walk. The only
one we could recognized was Tommy. I suspect he was going hunting this
morning.
So far I can't show much for my efforts but I have
been working with this Nvu program all day. I am having quite a time
figuring out how to do it. I really think this will be an excellent
thing if I am ever able to master it.
We took Butternut for his walk this afternoon and I
used the binocular camera.
Unfortunately it is a cloudy day and it was very difficult to
hold the camera steady by using some rocks or a tree.There certainly is
a difference in the steeple picture above. I planted the camera firmly
on on
our car roof.
We figured that tonight perhaps Butternut would stay
out of
trouble if he had a walk. Last night apparently we were not
successful in placing things out of his reach. He got an entire box of
crackers, tore them apart, probably ate some, but made a glorious
mess. He also got into a can of mixed nuts. He opened that also
but
was content to chew on the lid. Honestly!!
Yesterday I
received an e-mail from Photo Island that they are going out of
business. They set up a method for me to reclaim and download all the
pictures I have on that site. I haven't done it yet but I had better
do it soon.
Thursday October 21, 2004 4:24 pm It
is 46.8 at Slatington E,S and 49.6
in the bus stop
Golly but this
is my latest post in a long time. I had all kinds of
problems befall me yesterday.The computer started acting strangely
yesterday afternoon and finally became virtually unusable last night. I
ran the newly updated anti-virus and I had a Trojan on the machine that
thoroughly gummed up the works. I finally got rid of it and discovered
that I lost all the pictures on this page. Everyone except the last
three. After much work I think it is finally straightened out now.
Then this morning we did our shopping. In between
chores I kept at it until now I think all is finally well. Needless to
say things have been anything but normal.
This morning my blood glucose was 140 and the weight
194. It was an interesting shopping trip today. When we arrived at
Giant
we discovered that the "Geezer Fair" was on today. Queen and I went
around and looked at all the displays. From funeral plots to bedpans
all was there.We both entered a lot of drawings. Last year Queen
won a
dinner for us at the Terrace Restaurant .
Tonight for supper Queen is having pancakes and
chicken gravy. A sure winner! Man but it sure was a winner. We don't
have it that often but she did a first class job on this meal.
Now I finally have the computer up and running at
what passes for properly. I sure was in a pickle last night
at this time. It is amazing what ideas come upon one while resting or
just sitting about when not really thinking about it. I had pretty well
worked my way through the worst of it tonight. I sent my experts a
running account of what I was trying to do and what worked and what
didn't
work. In the report I sent the same e -mail with
the new additions to it as I tried them. Then this evening I
got some e-mails from son George in Delaware detailing some
cures
that certainly helped a whole lot. I am in pretty good shape for the
moment until the next screw up. Ha!!
We are both tired tonight. I got an e -mail of the
impending visit from son George. They will be arriving tomorrow for the
weekend. That will be a nice visit.
We have to get ourselves going tomorrow because
Queen and I must be at the Hospital annex at 2nd and Franklin Avenues
in the morning at 8:15 for our flu shots. Then that will be done. In
the afternoon Queen goes to her Gynecologist up at the
hospital. I understand most women don't look forward to that trip.
Friday, October 22, 2004 7:06 AM 43
deg at Slatington E.S. and 44.9 in
the bus stop
We are off to an
early start due to our upcoming
trip for our flu shots at 8 am this morning.
<8:31> We are back. We got our flu shots and then went to Country
Harvest to pick up part of
tonights dinner.
They have that flu shot thing down to a fine
art. Since one needs appointments there is no crowding or long lines.
It went very nicely. I think Queen wants me to run the plow in here this
morning.
One of the things I did last evening was to create a
set of CD-ROMS from which in a pinch, I can set up shop on practically
any windows computer and be back in business. I will keep those CDs in
a separate place.
After we ran the plow this morning the sun came out
and we went for a drive and got a few pictures for today's web page.
There
was just enough sunlight from the right direction that I got some
pictures that turned out very well. Then we drove out to the Country
Club and I got some shots there.
I can readily
see that there is great difference in the pictures taken
on my regular Fuji camera and this Bushnell binocular camera.
There is a great difference in detail as well as overall quality. Hey
for 40 bucks it doesn't do badly.
This will now be sent to the proof reader, spell
checker and generally good kid, Queen for her perusal. Therefore I had
better to bring this to an end for this week.
Please love one
another.
Mom and Bob [Queen and Bobby]
PS, In keeping
with this new program we tried something new. Instead of
printing the page and having Queen correct it with a red pencil
we both sat here at the computer screen as as she saw errors I made
the necessary changes. It was a wonderful way to do it.